A child from Des Moines returned home today after a short stay in the new University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital in Iowa City, but he swears he’s been home the entire time.
The child in question was at Iowa’s only nationally ranked children’s hospital, but he refuses to believe he was in a hospital because “there’s no way a hospital could feel so much like home.”
His parents tried convincing the child of his hospital stay by pointing to his bandages, but the skeptical eight-year-old presented his own evidence during a press conference given in his basement.
“The room was far too cozy for a hospital,” said the skeptic. “I had my own private room, with a recliner, a fridge, personal storage with locks, a sleeping area for both my parents, an individual thermostat, a huge flat screen TV, and a nifty lighting system that let me change the colors in my room to fit my mood.”
But the future lawyer didn’t rest his case there.
“I never left home, pinky promise! Where I stayed had family lounges with Wi-Fi, laundry rooms, playrooms, a children’s theater, a children’s library, gardens, a Java House, and a press box where I could literally oversee Kinnick Stadium and watch the Hawkeyes play,” he said. “Does that sound like a hospital to you?”
Our investigators looked into the matter and concluded that it was indeed a children’s hospital, as most homes do not offer such advanced medical care. The cause of the confusion is simply that UI Stead Family Children’s Hospital was designed to meet the specific needs of children and their families to make them feel right at home.